As I slowly munch on my cereal I sit and ponder in disgust: is there something fishy about these natural arty embellishments displayed in the hostel dining room? Or is it really just me again.
Looks like dried slices of something else to me!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
unfortunate irony
Unless they really only teach English to one adult, I would think twice before attending this English school...
Conservative Kiwis part 896
This was in the window display of a "lingerie shop" in Petone. Although I admit it is an improvement for the shop: normally their rather spastic looking doll is dressed in a night gown or a t-shirt.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Drive me mad! Fuck the system part 2.
I recently lost my bag which contained a mobile phone, a block of cheese (now very, very ripe medium cumin cheese from the one and only Dutch shop) and worst of all, my wallet. Not the end of the world, but it is quite a nuisance. Means getting everything replaced, especially annoying with bank cards, credit cards, access cards and driver's license. I have become a bit of a pro at this, considering I lose my bag or phone at least once a year on average but that's a different story.
Anyhow, I went through the usual processes in order to replace what needed replacing.
This went without much hassle, until it was time to get the new driver's license.
In order to get a replacement driver's license, you need to bring ID. The problem was that I didn't have any other ID at hand. I had just sent my passport off for renewal and this was going to take six weeks. My only other ID was my driver's license which was what I had come to replace, because it was either stolen or thrown away. The only other acceptable document was a genuine copy of my birth certificate.
I thought I was in luck. When I got married several years ago I had to supply exactly that, as well as a professionally translated version, signed by the Justice of the Peace. Surely that would do?
How silly of me to assume (it is not without reason they say "assume makes an ass of u and me"). As mentioned in an earlier blog, The System cannot think for itself. It is in place for the sole purpose of being. It is, therefore it is. And be it does! The System is there, to be held in place with the utmost caution. Logic or common sense do not come into effect, they have no place within The System.
The birth certificate was acceptable on the condition that it had to have been issued in New Zealand. I was not born in New Zealand, therefore such a document does not exist. The idea of going six weeks without ID was not a favoured option, because of the fact that I am handicapped by my extraordinarily youthful looks. You see, I apparently still look like I am 17 because I almost always have to show ID when I go and buy alcohol (both those times a year that I do).
"SO." I said to the man behind the desk applying The System. "Seeing the circumstances, why don't you just actually look in The System? If you type in my name and date of birth, you will see a picture of me, which is the very same picture that will be printed on that driver's license that I am here for to get renewed. Look at the picture, then look at me, look one more time at the picture to be sure, and if it matches, voila!" Right?
But no, that would be common sense and common sense is not written into any sections or clauses within The System. So I just waited around for six weeks instead to get my passport to show to the man behind the desk to compare to the picture on the screen to obtain the driver's license to obtain alcohol... SIGH. Just had to get that out of my System.
Anyhow, I went through the usual processes in order to replace what needed replacing.
This went without much hassle, until it was time to get the new driver's license.
In order to get a replacement driver's license, you need to bring ID. The problem was that I didn't have any other ID at hand. I had just sent my passport off for renewal and this was going to take six weeks. My only other ID was my driver's license which was what I had come to replace, because it was either stolen or thrown away. The only other acceptable document was a genuine copy of my birth certificate.
I thought I was in luck. When I got married several years ago I had to supply exactly that, as well as a professionally translated version, signed by the Justice of the Peace. Surely that would do?
How silly of me to assume (it is not without reason they say "assume makes an ass of u and me"). As mentioned in an earlier blog, The System cannot think for itself. It is in place for the sole purpose of being. It is, therefore it is. And be it does! The System is there, to be held in place with the utmost caution. Logic or common sense do not come into effect, they have no place within The System.
The birth certificate was acceptable on the condition that it had to have been issued in New Zealand. I was not born in New Zealand, therefore such a document does not exist. The idea of going six weeks without ID was not a favoured option, because of the fact that I am handicapped by my extraordinarily youthful looks. You see, I apparently still look like I am 17 because I almost always have to show ID when I go and buy alcohol (both those times a year that I do).
"SO." I said to the man behind the desk applying The System. "Seeing the circumstances, why don't you just actually look in The System? If you type in my name and date of birth, you will see a picture of me, which is the very same picture that will be printed on that driver's license that I am here for to get renewed. Look at the picture, then look at me, look one more time at the picture to be sure, and if it matches, voila!" Right?
But no, that would be common sense and common sense is not written into any sections or clauses within The System. So I just waited around for six weeks instead to get my passport to show to the man behind the desk to compare to the picture on the screen to obtain the driver's license to obtain alcohol... SIGH. Just had to get that out of my System.
Fuck The System! part 1
FUCK THE SYSTEM
I booked a flight.
A flight to Buenos Aires, with a wee bit of a detour.
My aunt and her hubby were going to hibernate in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico from November to May (as you do). So, my auntie said, why don’t you come and stay for a bit if you’re going to be around our neck of the woods anyway (or, in this case, on their turquoise turf). “What a good idea!” I thought.
So I booked one flight from Wellington to Los Angeles (LA), another from LA to Puerta Vallarta (PVR) and a final flight from PVR to Buenos Aires (BA). This final flight goes to Mexico City first, then connects to a direct flight to Buenos Aires.
Sadly due to circumstances my aunt has had to change her plans and will not be able to be in PVR after all, so I will visit them in Santa Cruz instead. Santa Cruz is situated just below San Francisco, and to be fair, San Fran is a place I have always wanted to visit someday anyway.
So… All that needs to be done is book an extra return flight between LA – San Francisco, change the flight LA - PVR to a flight from LA to Mexico City, and cancel the first bit from PVR to Mexico City, right?
Ideally we would live in an ideal world. Unfortunately we are not so fortunate. We live in a world run by The System. Each tiny little aspect of organising that seems to even remotely involve some sort of process has a System in place. In this case: the flight. The first leg cannot be cancelled, because then I am automatically registered as a “no show” in The System. And The System, The System is just not set up for such drastic alterations to a trip.
Stubborn as I am, I thought: surely there will be a way to let this omniscient, flawless System know four months in advance that a person will hop onto the plane in the stopover location, rather than first be on a connecting flight to that location? Except this isn’t the script in the Terminator. This System doesn’t yet have a brain. There is no way to delete the first trip, not by letting a person of flesh and blood know who can then manually alter the data, or put a reminder in place to “un”cancel the second part of the trip, or notify the airline staff via email that this is going to happen to this flight.
I argued in English with the booking site via Skype, I argued in Spanish with the airline via chat, both argued back in Gibberish giving me the same vacuous reply. “The System does not allow to only cancel a segment of the trip, if we do that, it automatically cancels the rest of the trip”. "It’s The System’s fault, The System won’t allow it, sorry. Oh, and have a nice day!"
So. I have succumbed, and decided I’ll just have to add a weekend in Puerta Vallarta to the itinerary. Am sure my System can handle that, as well as find me a Cool CouchSurf Couch to Crash on.
I booked a flight.
A flight to Buenos Aires, with a wee bit of a detour.
My aunt and her hubby were going to hibernate in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico from November to May (as you do). So, my auntie said, why don’t you come and stay for a bit if you’re going to be around our neck of the woods anyway (or, in this case, on their turquoise turf). “What a good idea!” I thought.
So I booked one flight from Wellington to Los Angeles (LA), another from LA to Puerta Vallarta (PVR) and a final flight from PVR to Buenos Aires (BA). This final flight goes to Mexico City first, then connects to a direct flight to Buenos Aires.
Sadly due to circumstances my aunt has had to change her plans and will not be able to be in PVR after all, so I will visit them in Santa Cruz instead. Santa Cruz is situated just below San Francisco, and to be fair, San Fran is a place I have always wanted to visit someday anyway.
So… All that needs to be done is book an extra return flight between LA – San Francisco, change the flight LA - PVR to a flight from LA to Mexico City, and cancel the first bit from PVR to Mexico City, right?
Ideally we would live in an ideal world. Unfortunately we are not so fortunate. We live in a world run by The System. Each tiny little aspect of organising that seems to even remotely involve some sort of process has a System in place. In this case: the flight. The first leg cannot be cancelled, because then I am automatically registered as a “no show” in The System. And The System, The System is just not set up for such drastic alterations to a trip.
Stubborn as I am, I thought: surely there will be a way to let this omniscient, flawless System know four months in advance that a person will hop onto the plane in the stopover location, rather than first be on a connecting flight to that location? Except this isn’t the script in the Terminator. This System doesn’t yet have a brain. There is no way to delete the first trip, not by letting a person of flesh and blood know who can then manually alter the data, or put a reminder in place to “un”cancel the second part of the trip, or notify the airline staff via email that this is going to happen to this flight.
I argued in English with the booking site via Skype, I argued in Spanish with the airline via chat, both argued back in Gibberish giving me the same vacuous reply. “The System does not allow to only cancel a segment of the trip, if we do that, it automatically cancels the rest of the trip”. "It’s The System’s fault, The System won’t allow it, sorry. Oh, and have a nice day!"
So. I have succumbed, and decided I’ll just have to add a weekend in Puerta Vallarta to the itinerary. Am sure my System can handle that, as well as find me a Cool CouchSurf Couch to Crash on.
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